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MY TENTH JOURNAL ENTRY
nigerianprince
HELLO ONCE AGAIN MY LOVELY FRIENDS!

AS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW, NIGERIA – THE LAND OF MY FATHERS – HAS THE WORLD’S SEVENTH LARGEST OIL DEPOSITS. IT IS THE BIGGEST OIL PRODUCER IN AFRICA. IF I SAY IT’S AN OIL COUNTRY, YOU WILL AGREE.

MOST NIGERIAN PEOPLES ARE SIMPLE AND UNCIVILIZED (*), AND ITS CURRENT CENTRAL GOVERNMENT CORRUPT AND NONDEMOCRATIC. THEREFORE, IT WOULD BE UNFAIR TO ASK THE NIGERIANS TO CONTROL ALL THIS OIL THEMSELVES. FORTUNATELY THE OIL COMPANY ROYAL DUTCH SHELL HAS PROVIDED NIGERIA WITH HELP, TAKING CARE OF ALL THE DIRTY OIL AND THE RESULTING OIL MONEY. AS THE MONEY ISN’T USED ON SCHOOLS, HOSPITALS OR DEMOCRATIZATION OF THE COUNTRY, OR EVEN IN REPAIRING THE ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGES CAUSED BY THE DRILLING. THIS ALSO HELPS KEEP THE NIGERIAN PEOPLES SIMPLE AND UNCIVILIZED.

WERE I THE KING (OR PRESIDENT, IF I HAVE TO) OF NIGERIA, ALL THIS WOULD CHANGE, BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT HERE.

MUCH OF THE OIL IS DRILLED IN OGONILAND, NAMED FOR THE THRICE-CURSED OGONI PEOPLE. THE OGONI, AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW, ARE BITTER ENEMIES OF THE EDO (BENIN) PEOPLE. AND ANY ENEMY OF THE EDO (BENIN) PEOPLE IS ALSO AN ENEMY OF THE OGEDENGBES. IN FACT, MOST ANTHROPOLOGISTS AGREE THAT ANYONE EAST OF THE NIGER RIVER IS A DORK, WHILE ANYONE WEST OF THE NIGER IS PRETTY COOL.

THE GREEDY OGONI WANTED THEIR PART OF THE OIL MONEY (PROBABLY FOR DRUGS), AND STARTED MASSIVE UPRISINGS LED BY THE OGONI AUTHOR KEN SARO-WIWA. ALL HIS BOOKS ARE CRAP, DON’T READ THEM. OBVIOUSLY, SHELL HAD THE CORRUPT NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT EXECUTE KEN SARO-WIWA.

THIS CREATED LOTS OF PUBLICITY FOR KEN SARO-WIWA, SHELL, NIGERIA AND THE OGONI PEOPLE. THE OGONI HAVE SHAMELESSLY EXPLOITED THIS. ONE EXAMPLE: THE WIKIPEDIA ENTRY FOR THE OGONI IS THREE PAGES LONG, WHILE THE ENTRY FOR EDO (BENIN) IS ONLY HALF A PAGE. SIMILARLY, THE FREE PUBLICITY FOR SHELL HAS BEEN ENORMOUS.

SO WHAT, YOU MAY ASK. WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE EDO (BENIN)? IF KEN SARO-WIWA WAS KILLED BY SHELL, ISN’T IT ONLY RIGHT THAT THE PUBLICITY GO TO SHELL AND THE OGONI? LET ME EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU, MY FRIEND.

MY UNCLE, GENERAL SOLOMON OGEDENGBE, HAD ALREADY GIVEN THE ORDER TO HIS MEN TO ASSASSINATE KEN SARO-WIWA. SHELL AND THE CORRUPT NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT UNLAWFULLY STOLE MY UNCLE’S IDEA, AND HAVE EARNED MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN PUBLICITY FOR THIS. IT IS POSSIBLE THAT THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT WOULD BE IN THE HANDS OF IT’S RIGHTFUL HOLDERS, THE OGEDENGBE FAMILY OF THE EDO (BENIN) PEOPLE.

THIS WOUND HAD ALMOST HEALED, BUT NOW KEN WIWA JR AND OWENS WIWA OF THE HATED OGONI PEOPLE HAVE TORN IT OPEN AGAIN. YOU SEE, THEY HAVE SUED SHELL AND FORMER CEO BRIAN ANDERSON FOR ENGOURAGING THE MURDER OF KEN SARO-WIWA. SHELL BLAMES THE CORRUPT NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT THEN IN POWER.

I DEMAND 50% OF ANY MONEY OR OTHER COMPENSATION THE OGONI OR KEN WIWA JR OR OWENS WIWA RECEIVES AS A RESULT OF THIS TRIAL. OTHERWISE, MY COUSIN, COLONEL ALEXANDER OGEDENGBE, WILL BE FORCED TO TAKE ACTION AGAINST MR. KEN WIWA JR, AND FORCE SHELL OIL COMPANY OUT OF NIGERIA.

I EXPECT TO HEAR FROM THE INTERNATIONAL PRESS, AND THE LAWYERS IN QUESTION.

OTHERWISE, I WISH YOU A RICH AND BEAUTIFUL SUMMER.

WILLIAM JULIUS OGEDENGBE
NIGERIAN PRINCE

*) THE EDO (BENIN) PEOPLE BEING THE OBVIOUS EXCEPTION.

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