MY THIRTEENTH JOURNAL ENTRY
nigerianprince
A GOOD HELLO TO YOU MY FRIENDS AND MY APOLOGIES,

IF I WERE KING OF NIGERIA, AS I SHOULD BE, MR. UMAR FAROUK ABDUL MUTALLAB WOULD NOT HAVE BECOME A WANNABE TERRORIST.

 

PEOPLE SAY TERRORISM IS BRED BY POVERTY, BUT THAT IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE. FOR EXAMPLE, MR. MUTALLAB’S FATHER, MR. UMARU MUTALLAB IS ONE OF THE RICHEST MEN IN ALL OF AFRICA, AND HIS SON WENT TO THE BEST SCHOOLS MONEY CAN BUY.

BASED ON WHERE THEIR FAMILY IS FROM (KATSINA), IT’S REASONABLE TO ASSUME THEY WERE EITHER FROM THE HAUSA PEOPLE OR THE FULA PEOPLE. NOW, IT’S TO THEIR CREDIT THAT THE MUTALLABS ARE NOT DISGUSTING OGONI, BUT STILL, THEY ARE NO EDO (BENIN), I TELL YOU THAT! 

BUT I DIGRESS.

MANY YOUNG NIGERIANS TAKE UP A CAREER IN E-MAIL SCAM, AND WRITE TO WHITE PEOPLE SAYING ”HELLO, MY NAME IS UMAR, MY FATHER IS THE FORMER CHAIRMAN OF THE FIRST BANK OF NIGERIA”, OR ”GOOD DAY TO YOU MY FRIEND, I AM THE SON OF THE FORMER MINISTER OF ECONOMY IN NIGERIA.” 

WHY DIDN’T MR. MUTALLAB DO THIS? HIS FATHER REALLY WAS THE FORMER MINISTER OF ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT IN NIGERIA, AND THE CHAIRMAN OF THE FIRST BANK OF NIGERIA AND CHAIRMAN OF NIGERIA’S FIRST ISLAMIC BANK AND EVEN CEO OF THE UNITED BANK OF AFRICA! MR. MUTALLAB COULD EASILY HAVE MADE A CAREER OUT OF SCAMMING PEOPLE FOR MONEY. 

NOW, IF I WAS THE KING OF NIGERIA, AS I SHOULD BE, OR EVEN A PRESIDENT OR PRIME MINISTER, I NEVER WOULD HAVE MADE UMARU MUTALLAB THE MINISTER OF ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT OR CHAIRMAN OF ANY BANK. ALL THE MINISTERS AND BANKERS WOULD’VE BEEN MY BROTHERS, SONS, UNCLES, COUSINS, BROTHER-IN-LAWS, AND SON-IN-LAWS. I PROBABLY WOULD’VE MADE UMARU MUTALLAB A COUNSELLOR TO ONE OF THE CHAIRMEN, BUT IF HE GAVE US ANY SHIT, I WOULD’VE THROWN HIM IN JAIL OR HAD HIM SHOT. 

AND SO MR. MUTALLAB THE YOUNGER WOULD’VE HAD NO MONEY TO STUDY IN ISLAMIC SCHOOLS IN YEMEN AND TO SUBSEQUENTLY GO TRYING TO BLOW UP PLANES. NO SIRREE, HE WOULD’VE BEEN SITTING IN A WEB CAFE IN KATSINA TOWN, WRITING TO EUROPEANS IN THIS TONE: 

”HELLO MY FRIEND. HOW ARE YOU?

I AM MR. UMAR FAROUK ABDUL MUTALLAB.

MY FATHER ALHAJI UMARU ABDUL MUTALLAB IS THE FORMER ECONOMIC MINISTER AND CHAIRMAN OF THE FIRST BANK OF NIGERIA. SINCE KING WILLIAM JULIUS OGEDENGBE ROSE TO POWER, MY FATHER HAS BEEN IMPRISONED, AND HIS MONEY TAKEN FROM HIM. HOWEVER, HE HAS MANAGED TO STORE US$10,000,000 (TEN MILLIONS) IN AN OVER-SEAS ACCOUNT IN YEMEN.

TO GET HOLD OF THE MONEY, I NEED YOUR HELP. I AM WILLING TO GIVE YOU US$1,000,000 (ONE MILLION) IN GRATITUDE FOR YOUR HELP. I SIMPLY NEED YOU TO PROVIDE MY WITH YOUR BANKING INFORMATION SO THAT THE MONEY CAN BE SAFELY TRANSFERRED TO YOUR ACCOUNT.

YOURS TRULY,

MR. UMAR FAROUK ABDUL MUTALLAB.

PS. I KNOW THERE’S A LOT OF SCAM OUT THERE, BUT I HOPE YOU DON’T THINK THIS IS ONE OF THEM. I FEEL LIKE I CAN TRUST YOU.”

 

AND THAT’S WHY THERE WOULD BE LESS TERRORISM, IF I WERE KING (WHICH I SHOULD BE)! 

YOURS,
WILLIAM JULIUS OGEDENGBE
NIGERIAN PRINCE
 

PS. I HOPE YOU DON’T THINK THIS IS JUST A SCAM!


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