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MY SIXTH BLOG ENTRY
nigerianprince
HELLO, JIM. HOW ARE YOU?

THIS IS PRETTY STRANGE. I JUST GOT AN E-MAIL FROM NIGERIA. I KNOW I HAVE RELATIVES THERE BUT I’VE NEVER MET THEM AND KEEP NO CONTACT WITH THEM, SO I’M KIND OF SURPRISED.

From: MR ADEBOYE OKIGBO
Subject: BUSINNESS PROPOSAL
   
I MR.ADEBOYE OKIGBO, A SENIOR MEMBER OF ITS ROYAL FUNERAL COMMITTEE BOARD AND A KEY MEMBER OF THE FEDERAL EDO CONTACT COMMITTEE OF NIGERIA. I REGRETFULLY MUST INFORM YOU THAT KING ODAYON JULIUS OGEDENGBE, YOUR FATHER, IS DEAD.

THE FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS ARE BEING UNDERTAKEN BY THE ROYAL FUNERAL COMMITTEE BOARD, AND WILL COMMENCE IN SOME WEEKS. FUNERALS THEMSELFS WILL TAKE 40 DAYS, AS IS THE CUSTOM OF THE EDO PEOPLE.

AS YOUR FATHER’S OLDEST SON, THE BURDEN OF KINGSHIP FALLS IN YOUR HANDS, AND WE CONGRATULATE YOU IN THIS SAD TIME AS THE NEXT EDO KING. IN VIEW OF THIS, WE HAVE STARTED ARRANGEMENTS FOR YOUR CROWNING.

UNFORTUNATELY, THE PRESENT ELECTED DEMOCRATIC GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA IS NOT PROPERLY FUNDING THE ROYAL FUNERAL COMMITTEE BOARD, AND WE LACK THE MONEYS TO PROPERLY BURY YOUR FATHER IN THE MANNER BEFITTING HIS STATUS (KING). IT IS CUSTOMARY FOR THE FUTURE KING TO PAY FOR THE BURYING RITES OF HIS PREDECESSOR AND THEREFORE I ASK YOU TO HELP US TO THIS END.

AS A KING, YOU WOULD BE ENTITLED TO THE EDO ROYAL FUND, WHICH CONTAINS SOME US$ 85.5 MILLION. THE MONEY CAN NOT BE USED FOR THE FUNERAL, AS ONLY A KING CAN ACCESS IT, AND YOUR FATHER DID NOT SET UP ANY MONEYS FOR HIS FUNERAL, AND YOU ARE NOT A KING UNTIL THE FUNERAL IS COMPLETE. FURTHERMORE, WE THAT ARE WORKING CIVIL SERVANT, WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO OPERATE FOREIGN ACCOUNT’ HENCE I CONTACTED TODAY.

I WANT YOU TO SUMMIT IMMEDIATELY YOUR COMPLETE COMPANY NAME AND ADDRESS IF YOU HAVE ONE, YOUR NAME AS PRESIDENT OR MANAGING DIRECTOR / C.E.O OF THE COMPANY, YOUR BANKING PARTICULARS: - (BANK NAME & ADDRESS, TELEPHONE AND FAX. YOUR RECEIVING ACCOUNT NUMBERS, SWIFT AND ROUTING NUMBERS). WITH THIS INFORMATINON, I CAN GET YOUR PROPERLY REGISTERED AS THE SOLE INHERITOR OF KING ODAYON JULIUS OGEDENGBE AND ENTITLED TO THE SUM OF US$ 85.5 MILLION.

AFTER RECEIVING THE ABOVE NEEDED AND STATED INFORMATION FROM YOU, I WILL PROCESS ALL THE DOCUMENTATION IN YOUR NAME THROUGH AN ATTORNEY, AND SUMMIT THEM FOR IMMEDIATE APPROVALS, AND THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT WILL MAKE SURE YOU ARE DESIGNATED THE RIGHTFUL HEIR OF THE EDO THRONE.

BE REST ASSURED THAT NO RISK IS INVOLVED OR ANY SCANDAL IN THE FUTURE, FOR WE HAVE DONE ALL OUR HOME WORK VERY WELL, NOBODY WILL BE HUNT OR HURT DURING AND AFTER THIS TRANSACTION. YOUR FATHER’S MURDER IS BEING INVESTIGATED TO THE FULLEST EXTENCT.

I AWAIT YOUR IMMEDIATE RESPONSE TO THIS REQUEST, AND LOOK FORWARD TO ESTABLISHING A LIFE LONG RELATIONSHIP OF SERVITUDE UNDER YOU. ONCE AGAIN, I AM VERY SORRY FOR THE DEATH OF YOUR FATHER.

BEST REGARDS,
MR. ADEBOYE OKIGBO

I DON’T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO THINK. THIS IS FAKE AS HELL, BUT IS IT TRUE MY FATHER IS DEAD? I TRIED GOOGLING, BUT THE EDO ROYAL FAMILY DOESN’T REALLY HAVE A WEBSITE. (COME TO THINK OF IT, THIS LJ IS THEIR ONLY ACCESS TO THE INTERNET.)

WILLIAM JULIUS OGEDENGBE
NIGERIAN PRINCE

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Sorry to hear about your dad. :(

-Cathrine

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