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MY FIFTH JOURNAL ENTRY
nigerianprince
HELLO MY FRIENDS.

NOW, I CONSIDER MYSELF AS SOMETHING OF AN EXPERT ON MONEY-MAKING SCAMS. I LIKE TO PROMISE PEOPLE GREAT BUSINESS DEALS IF THEY PAY ME LOTS OF CASH IN ADVANCE, AND THEN DISAPPEAR WITH THE MONEY. THAT'S THE WAY I OPERATE.

SO IF I SAY I'M A CON MAN, YOU WILL AGREE.

ALL OF A SUDDEN IT APPEARS I'M NOTHING BUT A SMALL-THINKING AMATEUR. THE PILOT WHO LANDED THE PLANE ON THE HUDSON RIVER A WHILE AGO, HAS ALSO LANDED HIMSELF A BOOK DEAL. FOR THREE MILLION DOLLARS!

LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN: THAT MAN WHO IS NOT A FAMOUS AUTHOR BUT A PILOT IS GOING TO GET THREE MILLION DOLLARS FOR WRITING TWO BOOKS. ONE IS, OF ALL THINGS, A BOOK OF POETRY! THE OTHER ONE IS A BIT MORE RUN OF THE MILL:

According to one editor who met with the pilot, the proposed book would revolve around the idea that “his whole life experience led up to this moment [of the landing],” and would include lessons on facing life’s challenges.
“It would be mainly a narrative of his life and the key moments that prepared him,” the editor said, adding that Mr. Sullenberger came across in the meeting as “the real thing. There’s a lot more substance to him than most people getting their 15 minutes of fame.”

WHAT'S THAT? THREE MILLION BIG BOYS FOR HIM (OR SOMEBODY ELSE) TO WRITE A COUPLE OF DOZEN PAGES ABOUT HIS LIFE, AND THE LESSONS HE'S LEARNED. HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE, YOU ASK! MY GUESS IS THAT HIS AGENT JAN MILLER IS THE SLY FOX OF A MAN WHO IS BEHIND THIS. MR MILLER, I HAVE MET MY BETTER.

BUT WAIT, MR MILLER! THERE'S MORE! YOU SEE, I HAVE AN INTERESTING LIFE, AS WELL. I COULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT HOW MY WHOLE LIFE EXPERIENCE AS A NIGERIAN PRINCE LED UP TO THIS MOMENT OF ME HAVING A BLOG, AND I WOULD GIVE LESSONS ON FACING LIFE'S CHALLENGES.

I'M THE FIRST TO ADMIT THAT THERE IS PROBABLY LESS SUBSTANCE TO ME THAN MOST 15-MINUTE CELEBRITIES, AND THE POSSIBLE MARKET IS SMALLER (AFRO-AMERICAN ROYALTY VS. ALL NEW YORKERS), BUT I'M SURE IF ANYONE CAN PULL IT OFF, IT'S YOU!

WHAT DO YOU SAY, MR MILLER? IF YOU AGREE, I ONLY ASK YOU TO SEND ME THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS SO I CAN BUY MYSELF A PRINTER, AND CAN GET MY BRILLIANT STORY ON PAPER. IF YOU DO THIS, YOU WOULD GET AN AGENT FEE OF TEN PERCENT OF THE $3,000,000 (THAT MEANS $300,000 FOR YOU).

RESPECTFULLY YOURS,

WILLIAM JULIUS OGEDENGBE
NIGERIAN PRINCE

(LINK VIA PINK IS THE NEW BLOG AND JOSSIP)

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Hi, Bill!

I love your blog. It's practically secret since it's so hard to find, but that's okay. It's like my little secret :)

I'VE TRIED PLUGGING THE BLOG BUT FOR SOME REASON MY E-MAILS ARE ALWAYS CAUGHT BY SPAM FILTERS, SO IT'S LIKE I EXIST IN A VACUUM.

I NEED A PUBLICIST.

Re: HI LEFTY

(Anonymous)
I guess Lefty will have to be your publicist!

-Cathrine

I'm not really trained for that, but I can send the e-mail for you, Bill :) And put it on my blog that no-one reads. Mail me at jameslefty@gmail.com

I WILL CERTAINLY TRY, BUT BE SURE TO CHECK YOUR SPAM FOLDER. THANKS, LEFTY!

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